She’s leaving for college so I made her a gift basket with all the essentials. You know- Ramen, a 12 pack of PBR, some leftover Plan B pills and a laminated business card for a good lawyer. Damn I’m a good big sister.
In debating whether or not it's worth getting out of bed and walking 5 feet down the hallway to go to the bathroom before I puke
My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
For future reference, the words 'big' and 'problem' should be used sparingly with a person whom you have recently had copious amounts of unprotected sex
Is asking my 8-year-old brother if he will make us shot glasses in his ceramics class too far?
She hash tagged the word blow job in her text. Tonight's going to be good.
Most violent shit of my life. New Years resolution of eating better is already kicking me in the face.
I'm pretty sure they kept making references about gangbanging me but I was too stoned to catch on, I just sat there and stared at his kitten.
i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
These last 48 hours have just been about deleting my most recent snap story
He somehow always manages to get me naked within 5 minutes of being together. It's like fucking witchcraft.
if you want to know how my night is going I just ugly cried in the cheesecake factory
Well, he kept asking me if I was going to murder him once we got upstairs. It sort of killed the mood.
Oh god, I forgot we had sex to Elton John
Randomize
