I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
Wish I didn't live with 3 girls so I could beat off in peace.
I'm not really sure how I got home, but judging by this headache, i'm assuming it involved bourbon.
vicodin is the reason why I believe in magic
I wouldn't really call it 'getting lucky' considering I paid her to do it.
I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
I never want to hear the words unlimited shots for boobs in the same sentence ever again.
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
They let me close the tennis center alone. It's a 6-minute drive from 2 of my booty calls. Scratch tennis court bj off the bucket list.
Just remember my house smells of thick cut bacon and I have a big dick.
With a breakfast like weed and a fun size twix before a dentist appointment you can see exactly how I handle being an adult
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
So you completely disappeared from my memory last night at about my 15th Jager bomb. But only you. No one else.
Why is there a mildly painful bruise on my back?
You slipped off the sink last night.
Why was I on the sink......?
;)
He saw me naked after our first date and still asked for a second.. so I think we’re doing good
Randomize
