We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
Had sex with the ex last night. Regretting to begin in 5, 4, 3, 2, 1... WHYYYYYYYYYY!
While I was dancing with him in my foil dress he said, "You're like a Chipotle burrito. Don't worry, that's the best complement you could get from me."
Look you found him on craigslist. You should be happy that he at least HAS a normal looking dick.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I guarantee that wasn't the first penis someone placed on her forehead.
Brian got his first ever blow job last night. We should make him a scrapbook.
They just keep looking funny at me. No one has attempted to tell me that I don't make sense though so maybe they're all way more high than I am.
I've woke up with the same hoodie on backwards, twice this week. I think that's a record
she definitely didn't appreciate it when you justified bringing her home by yelling to me "fat bitches need love too"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
She kissed me, then said "mmm your face tastes like it needs my pussy on it."
the night was just a blur of sex and pie
After we finished having phone sex he proceeded to serenade me with Ave Maria. It was magical.
Did I tell you that I told him I deleted his dick pics and he almost started crying?
Through a complicated series of events, I wound up in the desert with a blue chick from comic-con. we lost peter. if you're alive, please come get us.
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