physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
oh and he was serious.
He just spent five minutes trying to sling shot a cheese-it off his dick and into my mouth.
I miss seeing your mom and dad at church, well mostly just your mom... She used to hug my face into her boobs.
he's legally blind and likes the sound of my voice, good enough for me.
It involved homemade coconut rum, a waterfall, and street signs. I'll leave the rest to your capable imagination.
He hit on a bridal shower w/ his hand on my tit the entire time. Gave his number to the mom.
Dude he's your dog he doesn't love me more than you. I'm just like that cool uncle that takes him to burger king and to see girls.
So, I'm drinking, and I put my head down in the table. The cat jumped up to check on me, I have a cat sober monitor.
I'd tell u there's strippers to make you get here faster, but that would be a blatant lie... There's strippers here.
I'm driving to work hungover. I feel like I got hit by a train and then drank that train too.
Thanks for the reference. If your boss hires me, I'll buy you a drink.
If my boss hires you, I'm going to need it.
She just took all of the blankets in the house and threw them in the yard, because 'the grass was cold'..
Did you ask Harvard boi?
Apparently he likes someone who is into being smart and a supporter of human rights ugh what a skank
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