Hows this for an invention: a toilet that weighs your poop
So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
A kid wearing a Batman belt buckle in my psych class just asked how people get pee fetishes. I'm too high for this.
THEY HAVE A VOMIT TROUGH.
What?
A TROUGH FOR VOMIT.
Fucking plugged the shower with taquitos I just threw up.
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
If we had kids we couldn't come home, get high and watch porn together. And that's like the only reason I get up in the morning
I just heard your voicemail. Glad you like my dick and think I'm cool
She's passed out laying in the middle of the street. Cars are honking at her and going around her body. We need to stop playing BONECRUSHER.
It's situations like these that make me climb out of windows
she's always on high-alert for lesbians
Can you explain to me why I showed my boobs to the firemen to get free beer?
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
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