you spent 5 minutes trying to open an empty PBR and kept saying "don't worry i'll get it i've been working out"
All I learned from that experience was that drinking scotch out of a crunk goblet was bad news.
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
We had a pillow fight. It looks like an angel exploded here. A DRUNK ALCOHOLIC ANGEL
I think it's starting to become crucial that I find a companion for my vagina.
Nope my penis exudes pure oxygen in times of crisis.
I vaguely recall putting a toaster in the freezer.
And noooow we're smoking a ton of REALLY strong weed and THIS IS THE SOFTEST CAT EVER
At least he finally released me from his spooning oven of death...
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
I figured it out! The supermoon explains how I managed to have sex with 3 dudes in 3 nights without leaving the apartment.
I went down on her on the dining room table. That should count for something.
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
I need to go to St. Louis more often. The brides sorority sisters were practically fighting over me once they heard I work on Wall St.
Randomize
