Define "chronic" masturbator.
i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
i said she could sleep in my bed and she goes "iiiiiiii warned you. iiiiim a cuddlerrrrrr!" slightly regretting this..
i came home to her naked eating chilli on the living room floor. Stop giving her jager.
Drinking Hot Toddies on the Porch and blasting bob dylans "hurricane" bring it on sandy!
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
Sometimes i think i need to stop drinking because i can't afford losing so many panties anymore
I'm gonna die. First I'm gonna throw up. But then I'm gonna die.
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
The problem with adderall is that no matter what I'm doing, I feel like it was the most productive thing I've EVER done.
Did you alphabetize our spice cupboard again?
...You'll thank me later.
I’ve been home 1 day and already had sex with my ex and got a blowie from her cousin and currently I’m getting molested by a cougar at the bar!!!! Plenty to give thanks for this year!!!!
Randomize
