yo dude i was totally schwabbin last night.
what does that even mean?
you ever see those charles schwabb commercials, where the people are like half cartoon half real.... well yeah i saw that in real life.
So I had to explain to her that pussy doesn't mean a cat
I mean I woke up wearing my bathing suit which blows my mind
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
Someone played tic tac toe on my abs?
she's crying while babbling "all i do is win"
Good idea. You gotta take care of your vagina. She takes care of you. Pay it forward.
doing an easter egg hunt in a liquor store right now. i feel so adult
alright. I just need to set some ground rules, no lighting me on fire, and no broken bones. fair?
You kept going up to guys in plaid and screaming "are you a lumberjack" in their faces
I'm just gonna go with where the wind takes me. if it takes me to his dick, so be it.
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
We fucked. Had a political debate. I won. So I sat on his face.
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
You said the best orgasm you ever had, you gave to yourself. your boyfriend looked really disappointed. so did half the room.
Randomize
