He told me he looked up all the foods that make cum taste better and he put it all on his moms shopping list. she came through my line. this ones a keeper I think.
My New Years Resolution was to get a girl I dont know pregnant. 8 months later I can check that off the list..
It really ruins the moment when you have to ask to resend the nude pics.
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
the two person party stopped when i realized that he tried to throw a hammer at my head.
She wanted to to do it on top of a horse, I can't compete with that
We are gunna have the best winter break smoking weed and eating ham
I told this guy in the dining hall that he's a hippie god and he's never made eating yogurt so sexy
PLEASE HELP ME THE AMERICANS ARE YELLING ABOUT TURKEY, I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO
My mom added me on Snapchat which means I am officially done with Snapchat.
Whose dick am I looking at? There are too many possibilities at the moment.
i had a flashback to you roaring like a dying tiger and then throwing your wallet (maybe?) at the cat in the living room and saying "you're the only adult that lives here take all my money"
Nothing says "sober up, you whore" quite like an early morning PAP smear.
I don't even remember what dignity looks like anymore. I JUST WANTED TO ROAST SOME POTATOES
I like that they’re all named Christopher or Chris. No need to worry about moaning during!
Randomize
