i just ordered an al pacino with double mocha at starbucks.. i'm waiting to see how long it takes the chick to realize what i said.
he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
I cannot remember December 31 for the past 3 years. it might as well not even exist on my calendar anymore
Definitely got drunk and sent her a literal picture of my asshole. I titled it " you"
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
She bit a glass in half.
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
And im sorry for wishing your girlfriend gets genital warts.
So much beer in the passenger seat the seatbelt light is blinking
I just Tebowed the shit out of her.
Nice and you can't use "Tebow" in the place of every verb.
I'm going to make out with someone. I'm on a mission. I don't even care if I'm wearing beer goggles. As long as he's not shorter than me, gay, or a woman.
Happy 420. I woke up to a girl smoking weed and dragging me out of bed. Chemistry makes so much sense high.
So that 100 days of sobriety thing I told you about last week? Lasted all of 4 days. Fuck it, life's too short
Ah, drunk me ordered sushi at 3 a.m. for sober me's lunch the next day. EXCELLENT
last night i was way too drunk and i was forcing people to let me tell them about mammals
Randomize
