well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
Mat is currently running around his basement "trying to catch oxygen in his mouth."
Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
There's nothing worse than waking up naked on the beach covered in sand and a family walking by.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
The night was going well until I found tufts of my hair in the freezer. Then I got nervous
You slept with a red coat way too close to independence day. It's just very unpatriotic.
I am now trying to reassure her that she doesn't have a wide-set vagina. So thanks, for whatever you said.
Yessssss I diiiiid! I enjoyed 38% of it. There are 4 qualifications and 2 were good. 1. There is a penis in my vagina (Pass) 2. It's a big penis (Fail) 3. The sex is long and exciting and makes me sweat and have 6 pack abs (fail) 4. I got off (uhhh potential to pass...)
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Standing in my kitchen eating choc chip cookie batter from the bowl. As sad as it is, I kinda like the places bad breakups take me.
he made a bon jovi sex playlist and started crying when "i'll be there" came on... how was your night?
Stripper just cleaned my glasses with her nipple...
You can't just say you're dying of terminal cancer everytime they try to card you
I keep having dreams where I tie him up and eat cookies off of him while riding him. Wtf brain.
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
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