Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic
I don't think the cop knew you were on ecstasy until you asked for a back rub.
Is it sad that I just used my electrical knowledge to not only fix but improve my vibrator?
Living room yoga. I'm too hungover to deal with anyone else's chi today.
Well I knew we were drunk when I told you it was a good idea to shit in the ocean
somehow a sneeze triggered me puking over everyone in the car
Youre attempt to ruin my night by putting Date Rape by Sublime on my sex playlist failed. She was into it.
Rolled in at 3:30am from the strip club, with all the screaming I did, Siri doesn't even recognize my voice this morning,
I got back and Katie was asleep holding a burrito. I woke her up and she ate it and passed back out.
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
Preface: Im drunk. But i think id make a good assasin. That is all.
She never came back from the bathroom so I went to look for her... I was in my room and heard this rustling. And she was in my closet petting ties.
Randomize
