cruising supermarkets, asking random people where i can get weed. fuck alaska
By the way, she says hi. At least I think she did since she licked my phone
all i wanted was to be slutty. now i'm meeting him for drinks tomorrow because he woke up before i had a chance to sneak out and was too polite to say no
As he was under the stripper backwards, he yelled "we should totally be facebook friends"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
Just witnessed my roommate pick her nose and eat it in her sleep. Remember, you made out with that.
Dude, you like sabotaged my shower time by walking in and eating a snack pack on the toilet. That's messed up on levels that haven't even been created.
I'm having a really difficult time dealing with the fact that my dog now shares a name with Snooki's crotch-spawn.
Who the fuck cries when they're stoned?!
Sorry man I just really wanted a McChicken
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my vagina is like this close to growling at me and leading me onto the nearest dance floor
make it buy you a drink first
lost my vibrator and now I have to masturbate manually. The struggle is fucking real.
In case you're wondering... Yes walmart will judge you for buying vodka and pickles at 645am.
No dude 10 parakeets in your bedroom is 9 parakeets too many. Bring them back. Today!
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
All she said was "Do me by Friday."
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