so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
Just used a champagne bottle to outline a trigonometric circle for math 104.. should i give up on life now or later?
He brought Stephanie home from the black light party. Apparently he has night vision beer goggles
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think the taxi driver just requested me on facebook..... his name was george right?
Dude that bathroom stall was not tall enough to be doing lines in, guys kept peeking over and giving us high fives
Me and your penis are best friends. You don't know it, but I whisper my secrets whenever I give you blowjobs. We even have a secret handshake. We can't be separated from each other. We just can't.
oh wow I have been there. Hell one time Matt and I woke up naked with pizza rolls in the bed.
I told my grandmother all I want is a nice guy who likes to be tied up.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sending out old nude selfies with the message "#tbt"
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
You don't come back from leaving a bag of shit on someone's counter Jill
I just blew thrown up hashbrowns out my nose. That's the level of this hangover.
I feel like people expect me to always be a sarcastic, shade throwing drunk. And you know me, I hate to disappoint.
And he kept lifting up his shirt every few minutes to check if his nipples were still there
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