The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
If letting him bang me while i'm wearing reindeer antlers and a painted red nose isn't the christmas spirit, I dont know what is
I poured myself a glass of chocolate chips at some point during the evening.
We thought she was passed out on the toilet, but she raised her head to tell me the word I couldn't remember was "empathize." Then she puked blood and passed out.
She was pretty drunk. It was like watching a puppy explore the world for the first time.
I love you. Happy valentines. Satin Patricks dayyyyyyyyyy. Alreadythrew up. Geeeeerait.
i got her number while she was sitting next to her boyfriend. her actual number. i might be a superhero
Wow. I feel like a bad friend. My fuckbuddy wished you a happy birthday before I did. The reality of that just hit me.
There are so many things that would come back to haunt me if I ran for President someday.
like that video of you mad stoned vomiting in the bdubs parking lot after going to a pizza buffet screaming how you needed to make room for froyo
Wat
Im like a hedgehog. Easy to corner or get within reach, but tough to get right close to. Like a rooster with its feathers surgically replaced with razors
You had me on my knees catching cheese balls in my mouth and moaning. In front of all your friends.
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
As a rule...I don't sleep with my friends or watch movies with talking dogs
He's throwing Skittles into my cleavage and some are rebounding into my crouch.
Well he's scoring either way then.
Randomize
