ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
This is why I shouldn't be left alone with liquor and anticipation.
i've been called drunk 4 times today and it's only 3pm
i kind of just want to tell my cleaning lady I'm an alcoholic so it's not awkward when I stumble out of my room to go sit in my car for 2 hours and wait for her to finish cleaning the several empty bottles of wine in my room
I don't think the cop knew you were on ecstasy until you asked for a back rub.
well on a positive note i hear those vitamins you take while pregnant do wonders for your nails
he belly flopped onto the beer pong table, and almost boke his face, so at that point we decided swimming would be safer for him.
If I ever mention marriage force me to Brazil to do coke and strippers until I die.
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
We had 15 min before last call. Exact quote "let's see how drunk we can get."
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
You've seen the quality of dick pics I normally get. The bar is high.
I just need you to appreciate that this is the first time I've ever been cut off and it's at an airport bar in Philly before 1 o'clock in the afternoon.
He just got out of surgery, almost died from shooting him self with an arrow.
Apparent my drunk ass was so dedicated to taking a piss, when I walked across the dance floor to get to the bathroom a 9/10 broad tried to dance with me and I just pushed her aside, like hard enough to send her a few feet from where she was standing, pointed at her and said "Not now chief, gotta rock a mean one."
Randomize
