dude. I'm so drunk.
pete, this is bryce's mom
I can't wait to have my cock in your ass
pete, this is still bryce's mom
i found a roscoes card in my pocket that says 'fuck me bare fo $15.20'. Wow
This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
whoever says they hate hangovers just doesnt know how to embrace them. i'm eating a mashed potato sandwich and watching grind.
Best. Four. Twenty. Ever.
The arresting officer told me "you probably get this a lot, but you look like anthony kiedis".
Rain ponchos don't count as shirts at the bar. FYI.
He set two of my ex boyfriends on fire at two different bars without anyone knowing it was him or how it happened either time. He might be a fucking super hero
I mean, they were small fires and no one got hurt, but still. Awesome.
I wouldn't even cut tickets or put ppl in jail I'd just hand out punches to the mouth and Liam Neeson throat chops
When you're not at your house I assumed you're somewhere having sex
We fucked to Bonnie Tyler in my car. He's the one.
Dentist appt at 2pm get milk poured on my tits by 2am
A marvelous 12 hours
He said we were going to get fucked up in the woods so here we are
HE’S PUKING UP BLOOD
okay all good I mistook strawberita for blood...
Drunk on wine at my parents house watching "RugRats In Paris". Comeatmeadulthood.
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