I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
My little brother has some high school girls in my pool, it's like a jailbait buffet in my backyard
What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
i would one night stand the shit outta him
Well, at least he doesn't refer to you as his associate. his mattress associate
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
Obama's speech on in 9 mins. Me in the shower now. Naked. Make your choice.
I'm bringing the tv in with me.
I basically gave Miranda rights to the guy I hooked up with, jus so we were all clear what was happening
So stoned that I pressed the unlock button on my car keys to walk into my bedroom...
just so it's not awkward when you get here, you and my dog have the same name.
Hahaha nice
How do I word.. " hey, I need you to fuck me really hard and see if you or I can feel my birth control. No worries, this is just an experiment." In a nice way without them feeling used.
Question: anytime during the past week did I drunk dial you and give you full permission to grab my boobs? Cus I know I said it I just don't remember who I said it to...
He just told me I was beautiful, whilst I peed into a cup. If this isn't love I don't know what is.
she was just meowing in the corner eating frozen chicken nuggets
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