he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
Apparently I kept telling the bartender that I was going to set the Guinness World Record.
Remember my theory about how the universe perfectly unfolds to fuck me? Well, it's at work right now
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
Well I tried to call you. I was convinced my body was made of wood. But the Xmas lights in my room helped
You need to let him know my only agenda is coke and sadness.
I'm going home because your Crackraptor step-brother tried getting his nasty meat hawks in my pants last night.
The sound of my own breathing is making my head throb. That hungover.
So nowhere in the dress code does it forbid me from showing up to City Hall in a gorilla suit to meet the mayor.
New guy at work just gave me a Percocet for my headache. Officially best friends
I could drive to your house and kick you in the nuts right now....and not even stop for a burrito
YOU DESERVE A GUY WITH A NORMAL DICK DONT SETTLE FOR ANYTHING LESS
Once you've had an oral std scare, you're an expert.
What's an appropriate gift to bring to my boyfriend's wife's baby shower?
Shame?
Randomize
