you ever get that eerie feeling when you walk in a room, when you know youve barfed here before.
He told us that was the only place he could get service when we found him in the closet passed out with a beer
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
So I'm looking through your google history on your laptop and you have 'is ketchup even remotely nutritious' and 'alcohol with fewest calories but highest alcohol'. What new fad diet are you on because I feel like we could do this together.
Weekend has begun hello red wine at 10am on a Wednesday
In my drunkeness I was planning how to throw up without my parents hearing. I was gonna go for a "run" and just throw up outside.
I'm pretty sure I told everyone in the bar I hadn't had sex in five months. And then I offered everyone calamari.
They sat me on college avenue with a puke bucket and people were mistakenly throwing change in it. Got me enough money take a cab back to my apartment.
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
Omg just had weirdest best cab advice situation ever. I kissed the cabbies hand as I was leaving like he was the pope and cried
The zoom feature on snap chat videos is the worst thing to ever happen to sexting
I'm eating go-gurt and drinking beer alone in the dark. This is why you shouldn't marry young.
You go to class with the flu but don't go when it rains... Get your shit together
I ripped my favorite bra in half last night while I was undressing in a drunken rage.
What was the rage all about?
He wouldn't stop to let me get McDonald's french fries.
A world without bacon flavored condoms is not one I want to live in.
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