This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
You answered the door when the cops arrived with a beer in one hand and a pillowcase over your head yelling "GAGA, OOH LA LA!"
i have a "get your shit together" dinner with my parents tonight. After that ill be down to party
she was in the bathroom washing her eye makeup off with hand sanitizer.
That's science, my friend. Boner science.
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
HE'S LICKING FROSTING OFF OF THE EIGHTEEN YEAR OLD BOY
You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!
I only want to come over for sex and blueberry pancakes
You reeked of guilt and shame and we offered you pancakes
She was blowing me like a porn star and all I could think was "you just told me your grandfather is dying in hospice right now"
I even put my vibrators back in the bedroom instead of the coffee table. If that's not growing up then I don't know what is.
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
So, then you thought it was a good idea to dress up like the Hamburglar, buy a bag full of McDonalds hamburgers, go to Burger King and throw them at everyone while screaming "HAMBURGLAR!". At that point there was no stopping you.
You went outside, peed in the front yard, and asked me to bring you some toilet paper.
Randomize
