talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
My new years resolution is to be alive new years morning
I just looked at all of our spring break pictures... there's a guy getting a blow job in the background of the ones on the beach.
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
and i fell asleep on top of a grilled cheese sandwich. not the best decision. but not the worst.
Hardly remember what he looks like and the man has seen me passed out spread eagle. I begin this journey with such a disadvantage.
I will fuck him senseless, no need for a priest.
I only have one eye to read your texts because I just stabbed one out after reading that last text.
Everyone is drunk but me. Fantastic. Everyone is hooking up but me. Awkward.
I had a pitcher of margaritas. Now I'm in a laundry room being a 5th wheel and crying. I made myself a bed out of a pool floatie. I win.
Puked in the trees at home depot, I told everyone it was fertilizeerr
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
Honestly I'm so excited to go to bed I feel as if I don't deserve to be in my early twenties.
Fastest way to get judgmental looks on a Sunday morning: wear sunglasses inside carrying a case of beer and thin mints at the grocery store. May or may not have ran into the glass door.
Gotta love Minnesota
Tell me how you feel about belly buttons
I've officially slept with/dated two guys that have gotten tased. What the fuck is wrong with me
Randomize
