I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
He told me he had more lines than a plaid shirt
No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
I wish I had my own personal Asian lady that lived under my bed so that she could wax my eyebrows and give me a pedicure whenever I wanted.
he designed a suit out of pillows to protect himself when he fell.
engineering majors are such efficient drunks.
BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
He legit pounded my cooking wine, because he was to cheap to buy beer. He is so not getting any.
I mostly enjoyed dancing with him because his boner was scratching my bug bites.
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
I just realized I consumed seven different types of alcohol this weekend. And I'm only counting jungle juice as one of those. How the fuck did I not die?
I bet my lungs hate me more than my liver
That's a hard toss up
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
I walked in on my sister eating my leftover burrito naked. How could my night have gotten any worse?
Bold words for someone NOT on a unicycle
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