After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
Best look from Detroit today: running across the street with your buttcheeks on display carrying a 40 oz. Or maybe being crazy-pregnant and screaming and slamming a pay phone. Toss up.
After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
We must be getting old. All of our friends are having kids and they aren't illegitimate.
I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
as we waited for a manager to come open the door that we broke while having sex on the wall, we decided to go round two in the hallway before he came back.. god i love hotels.
Not exactly sure why you felt the need to get the halloween decorations out. But waking up to 7 carved pumpkins really scares the shit out of you.
Cant wait to drunkenly tell by kids that i banged their aunt katie in a weird threesome
I don't know. I just thought I'd put my drinks in my bag and go on an adventure. Like a drunk Bilbo Baggins.
Listen, unless you want to spend your birthday in a trunk, you better invite me
The Wolf of Wall Street “I ain’t fuckin’ leaving!” speech when the cops broke up your party though...
I didn't even know we were hiding from the cops, I was just playing with the cats. People kept telling me to be quiet the cops are here and I was like DID YOU SEE THIS CAT!?
Never going back to jail again. Only time in my life I've ever had a wet dream about jerking it...
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