dude. how can brian from family drink at fucking bars? he's a dog and definitaly doesn't have pockets.
I made a vision board specifically for the purpose of boning john mayer.
I'll bring the barf blanket just in case.
I've started making all these amazing things...like bananas rolled in doritos..bandritos.
Just put a dog collar on someone's child.....was a great hit with everyone but his mom.......I think she hates me. I'm okay.with that
I HAVE MY OWN TITS FOR THAT AND I CAN GUARANTEE THAT THEYRE MORE GLORIOUS
Yeah dude, it's amazing. Be careful though, that shit is really really intense. Like it's way more intense than normal shit...
I took two and feel like crushed diamonds spread over glazing marmalade
This Halloween will be different. I'm just here to get shitfaced, not troll around looking for slutty nun pussy.
We need to get you laid. Or i fear you might explode like a firework of sexual innuendos and unfulfilled erotic fantasies.
Circle jerk is a real thing. It looks like five innocent virgins in a closet at my brother's bar mitzvah. Yeah, I walked in on that.
Those were some damn good pancakes you made last night.
Dude I've been in FL since Monday.
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
Hi I haven't talked to you since you bought legal marijuana-are you still stoned?
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
He broke both of his legs jumping out of a window to escape a coyote.
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