he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
You just met him on Thursday, and you've already nicknamed him Golden Penis?
When the doctor said the anal leakage might not be reversible without some lifestyle changes you start asking if it's worth the entertainment value.
He turned me into a screamer. Guess I'm really not a lesbian.
just found out that she named her cat after me.
What's your ideal size in a man?
I just asked if you could cover my shift tomorrow......
Gave up on finding an ashtray.... just started flicking it in my purse.
I WAS KIDDING ABOUT SLUTEMBER BUT ITS ACTUALLY HAPPENING
she's a drunken disney princess. so basically me if i had a crown and no desire for independence.
Why are your pants in the freezer?
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
Too hungover to brush my teeth. took a swig of menthol schnapps instead. lazy or incredibly efficient?
Youre my hero
Dude. why do I feel like I am cheating on you every time I do shrooms?
so this hot guy who looks like brad pitt circa troy era in my physics lab is staring at me right now and it's taking all the willpower I have not to procreate with him right now.
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