its sad that the first thing i assume is that ur trying to indirectly tell me you fucked on a breakfast table
by asking you if you bought one for the apartment?
I basing my decision on whether or not to date someone on whether I could imagine having sex with them sober
clearly I should have checked to see if he was an NRA member before I went back to his house and woke up in Heston's haven.
I just found out I was conceived in a rehab facility... that's better than finding out your dad could be someone else right?
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
AND WHAT FELONIES DID I MISS OUT ON WHILE SLUMBERING!?
I was telling everyone at the frat that they had to try the "fantastic refreshment" that was everclear, vodka and country time
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
He fired me, I fucked his wife, we're even I think...
I just woke up hand cuffed to the bar and shirtless, so yeah I think I need you to come get me.
I got blackout last night and applied to be a banker
If you fuck up my birthday by dying I will kick your fucking corpse.
She acted like falling "up" the stairs was a fucking physics phenomenon. I call that Tuesday nights.
I came home in someone else's underwear this morning
Atleast you got a souvenir
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