Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
I just tipped a bartender in xanax.
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
i keep seeing random pieces of my outfit all around town.
I have to verbally tell you. He looks good on paper...but he totally fails in person. Like communism.
I know it's pride week, but your asshole is just never supposed to taste like banana.
Found your dick twin last night
I was blowing him while he was singing Happy Birthday to his girlfriend on the phone. I win.
When I told him he could take naked pics of me, did I really need to specify that he could not email them to my brother's friends for bragging rights?
Ski vacations are for hooking up with randoms. It's like I don't even know you
I just used crown royal bags as pot holders...
I'm hoping you were seen by someone holding a frozen turkey at 230 in the morning
but I have boobs. I'm not going to buy my own drinks at the bar like some kind of fucking animal.
Showed up 15 minutes late and curtsied when I entered the door if that puts perspective to how my first day is going
I'm too pretty to be this sexually frustrated.
Randomize
