you mean i was at the winter classic?
Sunscreen. In my vag. I hate summer sex.
I found him CRAWLING across the garden. He saw me,smiled,and asked for a napkin.
I think rendering her infertile would be a valid community service project
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There was a reason God said "Let there be titties" on the Fifth Day.
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
I gave him shit for taking my sloppy seconds and when I woke up my eyebrow was gone
you said you didn't want to carry the pizza box so just folded up the pizza and put it in your pocket
You shut your whore mouth, we don't talk about Drunk Nutella night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i think my cat just said my name.
you can't get cum all over my hair and then tell me you just want to be friends
I'm pretty sure that my eyebrow is going to be swollen from a sex injury tomorrow and possibly a black eye. If it forms that way it wiil be the second time. Different eyeball. Different decade.
NO BABIES. YOUR VAGINA WILL BLEED WITHIN A FORTNIGHT.
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
So learned a new trick last night.... Taking body shots from my own tits... Mom would be so proud
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