It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo.
Another night, another sound of my neighbor almost having an orgasm.
And she used to have such long ones. Sad.
I mean can we take a second to high five on our sex life? I love us.
The bouncer was kicking me out and I put up my finger for him to wait while I chugged the rest of my drink..all he could say is "are you serious right now?"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You know you gotta reevaluate your life when the first thought that comes to mind after you wake up is 'at least I'm still alive'
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
She legitimately thought I was hiding in the fridge, then she checked the second one to be sure
Dude. Photoshop a Santa hat on your mug shot and send it as your Christmas cards.
How is it that I, the only one that didn't drink last night, was the only one puking out the car window?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It just makes sense. It's like I end a relationship, and wash myself of sin... with tequila.
Depends how u look at it. Half-full, half-empty, or how should I shave my pubes
Omg I should get on tinder just to get some edibles in town
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
dude. that's the chick that BIT MY DICK. it doesn't matter how hot you think she is, trust me man.
No, I told him I was busy again this weekend. Eventually he’ll learn. Plus, absence makes the cock grow harder
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