you told all the 17 year old girls at the party that your mating call was "I glitter in the sun"
He used his penis as a puppet and sang Rihanna's Hard..... so no, we will never see each other again.
Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
i'm ready for this baby to gtfo so i can get coked out.
Let's make a pact to never get in a cab at 3am together unless it's to go home or for pizza.
They got their marriage license when they were at the courthouse for her arraignment.
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
all time personal low: room service guy going "You want french fries AND onion rings???"
I worked hard to give you that boner. No one else should get to enjoy it!
Why am I feeling up grandma?!
I'm really glad a picture of you as an infant followed this text.
I'm not leaving my family to go to a strip club on good friday.
These people don't understand my stages of drunk
Stop studying come to the bar get drunk and help me figure out how to get home pretend there are commas in there someplace
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... 😯😟😒😓
Do I even want to know?
Randomize
