I decided that not getting a job after college is gods way of telling me I will make a great housewife
she said she'd get any tattoo I wanted ... so she's getting a large crossword puzzle as a tramp stamp. I'm the Einstein of doggy style
Girl farted next to me in class and then denied my high five
Thanks for getting me home last night.
No worries. I'll always be there for you, just like Mufasa.
beware of the wheat thins...there might be a knife in it
just put an icicle in the bong. best/worst idea ever. i think i can taste global warming right now.
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
So bored. I think I've expelled every last gram of jizz from my body.
Trying to figure out if the guy I'm with right now is the same guy I met spring break
Oh duude it is the guy from spring break! Awk.
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
Hey guys so who is Justin McGoo and why did I text him "fuck yooooouuu juuuustiiin mcgooo" at 12:06am on Thursday night?
There are condoms rolled onto each bunny ear of the ears I was wearing last night
I was informed this morning that I took all my clothes off and ran around the whole apartment complex. Being as they just moved in, welcome to the neighborhood.
Fuck the library it's too quiet and makes me uneasy. I feel like I'm so isolated I should take off my pants or something
I think someone is dead in a car across the street
Scratch that, dude's getting a blow job
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