i'm telling everyone you had sex with a puerto rican drug lord
We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
On second thought, trying to signify she was a butter face by wiping my bagel on her cheek may not have been in my best of interests
He threw up in a cup in the limo and when he got out the bouncer told him he couldn't bring drinks in so he gave the glass to that dumb girl we brought with us from c street.
I know, she tried to drink it
You know me. im down for anything that could harm my well being. lets dress like dolphins so everyone will see what dicks they are.
I drove two hours just to throw up on myself today at the beach. My family saw the whole thing and my younger cousin cried
Dude, all I know is that I came out of this thing wearing a snorkel mask and completely covered in glitter and soap.
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
I'm in the woods tripping balls the water is rising why don't you answer me
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
And don't worry, I have a great track record of rallying after a casual midday blackout.
i'm eating chex mix in the shower while texting. i feel accomplished.
Like wanna sit on your face while you speak German hot
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
There's a fuckload of syrup all over the floor.
Randomize
