sunday morning discovery: something purple, smelly, and sticky my hair. any suggestions?
Awesome, the library of congress archived all tweets. Now my great great grandchildren can pinpoint the date they inherited alcoholism.
just had a flashback of you pouring champagne into my mouth from someones balcony..
But on the up side she uprooted a whole peony plant from the hotel downtown and said, "I brought you flowers"
I take your lack of response to mean that your hands are taped to 40 ounces of something.
No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
I don't think my body can handle the alcohol I want to put in it anymore.
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
I want to be stormed in. I want to be stuck there. I want to climb a pyramid of strippers to safety
Don't forget the part about the bar bathroom stumbles.
Oh damn, you're right. I have to include that. You turned off all the lights with your head. That was impressive.
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
I "liked" his changed relationship status just to show him I'm ok with the fact he found someone not as pretty as me
If you fold the laundry; booze and orgasms on me.
I just walked in on Joel doing a buck naked tripod headstand in front of the mirror so he could see the bug bite on his balls
Randomize
