Call me "white mamba"
Your dick is not a dangerous deadly poisonous snake
It is white.
I just got hit by a car and apologized to the driver. I asked him if he was okay.
4 words: hood of his car
okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
my dad told me i had to spend my money wisely..so i spent the money he gave me for a desk chair on weed. ill be so high i wont even notice its gone
Any particular reason you put 2 smashed up limes in my back pocket last night?
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
and you will have a crown and it will be made of penises and all will bow before you and your glorious penis crown
he belly flopped onto the beer pong table, and almost boke his face, so at that point we decided swimming would be safer for him.
hey this is Madison. you gave me your number last night and asked me to remind you that you didn't fuck anyone. you okay?
Its official, if she bites your dick through your jeans, ya'll go together. A lesson you shouldn't have to learn after the fact.
I mean like if I stood up my head might pull me down like an anchor
I jammed my finger giving him a hand job. Don't ask how, I'm still trying to figure that out.
yea so the plan to relive our college glory days was great and all but ending up in the er with alcohol poisoning was crossing the line
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
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