I hope you have a really shitty weekend. I love you.
You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
if i remember New Year's Eve then there is something seriously wrong.
You told him how lucky he was to be an elephant and kept trying to grab his "trunk"
This glow in the dark vibrator will get me through this power outage
For once I'd like to have a Taco Sunday without having some random drunk chick flee my house half naked and in tears.
can you look at this picture and tell me if you think this my kid?
Also I think my taxi driver may have just died and we just happen to be on a 35 mph cruise control on 395...
So I told him it takes a lot to get me drunk & he said he was the heavyweight champion in college. We high-fived. Obviously I'm the favorite child.
Look, I'm just saying, she looks like a troll and works indefinitely at a shitty Chinese restaurant, so me sleeping with her boyfriend is the least of her troubles...
Dude that chick had a dog in her car. Like when she goes bar hoping so does roofus. He gaurds the car.
It made me want to take you home, put you in footie pajamas and feed you spaghettios
WHY IS THE HAIRSPRAY SOUNDTRACK PLAYING IN THE LIQUOR STORE
He said he doesn't "believe" in cuddling. Can you come get me?
His parents bailed him out, the police said they found him on a curb trying to call people on his wallet, hahha. He had his wallet open to his ear callin people
Randomize
