i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
By the grace of god and the ingenuity of Alexander Graham Bell, this text message is made possibe: YOU ARE A WHORE
can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
Peed on my phone. Dried it out in oven. Technology is both a plus and a minus.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just burped and it tasted like condom. please tell me i wasn't lame and made that guy wear one for a bj last night.
Take your time, they're doing body shots off the dog.
He told me he was in a Proactive commercial. It didn't seem to work for him but he was buying me shots so I slept with him anyways.
my sober ride is dancing w/ a fat girl. i might be awhile
Its gonna be a symphony of fucks
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've got a permanent seat at the "Girls who eat their feelings" table this weekend.
There should be an app that tazers me in my pocket when I'm spending too much money at the bar. Take a hint, Android Network. You slut.
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in
Randomize