i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
i need to find a birthday card for her that tells her how happy i am that i can now legally bang her
mom just told me i had to find a fake by next wednesday.
Just hooked up on shake weight girl's dad's porsche. What are YOU doing with your life?
I don't care that you fucked her. I'm offended that once again, you fucked someone with me in the room because you assumed I was asleep.
I cant feel my face. Like I dont even know if I have one. I wish I had a helmet
I want to figure out a way to work "if you suddenly die, I might turn into an extreme hoarders" into my valentines day poem
Gas station champagne. And before you say anything I'll have you know it's imported. From California. So get fucked.
Hooked up with a guy resembling a bearded Cher. I need the lenses on my beer goggles fixed. Pronto.
Don't be surprised if I hand out mini dildos on Halloween
Your level of morning after guilt is too much right now. Do less.
Today is a shit your pants at work kinda day
He stopped mid sex to pour wine in my mouth...
Marry him.
I just had all of the sex. All of it.
Randomize
