Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
Just got thank you sex for shoveling the driveway. I cant wait for the next blizzard
bring the vodka.
i thought we were going to mcdonalds..?
we are.
weed brownie and a latte, breakfast of champions
i hate always having to make my eye shadow look really good since my eyes always end up closed by the end of the night in pics
He kept saying that the puke outside the theater wasn't his and it was all a set up to keep him from partying with the whores. Then he passed out on the sidewalk.
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
God you people are gross. Come collect your unconscious friend.
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
Drunk me made out with someone's girlfriend last night, was invited to their place for a semi-threesome, and then walked home at three am. Can't decide if this is better or worse than drunkenly challenging everyone to taekwondo sparring matches...
look on the scale of 1 to the time you hit an old lady with your car chlamydia barely even rates
It's funny because every time I go up and down the stairs it's an adventure. A A DRUNK ADVENTURE. PS I ALREADY THREW UP WTF
"Fuck all you guys I'm going to be Cameltoe Spider-Man for Halloween."
I just balanced a full glass of chocolate milk on my left boob. Don't think i've ever been more proud.
i shit you not. the flight is delayed because they have to change fucking light bulb. all the airport bars are closed and my shit is in checked luggage.
Randomize
