id be glad to
y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
so exactly how many freshman chicks did i tell to call me "the tripod"?
nothing says "we're all in this together" like the herpes she passed around to our entire group of friends
Breaking hearts and overdosing on semen. That's my life.
Some guy stole lobsters by hiding them in his pants. We should strive to be like him.
some bitch filled my sink with salsa.
I sang again at the bar lastnight I don't think alanis morrset knew when she wrote you outta know that the drunk version was going to be go fuck yourself Josh and Chelsea. I love $2 wells.
oh my god. separately texting an Allie and an Ally while drunk is hard, and I'm climbed 1/2 way up a bridge pier.
Just hook me up with your dad already stop being selfish
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
Yeah you insisted everyone watch Space Jam at 2 in the morning then you cried the whole way through it. You were the very worst kind of drunk.
We were coming but I found wine on my way out the door.
Was just told that I slept on the counter using a loaf of bread as a pillow. Clearly my life is going well.
Double high-fived his wife and her sister on the way out. If I'm not the best mistress ever tell me how.
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