I had a dream that chipotle was out of burritos... Was more like a nightmare.. Gotta go make sure it wasn't real now
You know how I know it's Spring Break? I just passed a car with "South Padre bound" shoe polished on the back. The driver was blatantly drinking a roadie and getting road head.
Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
My gynecologist inadvertently complimented your penis.
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
We stuck the straw in the bourbon as a joke, you saw it as a challenge.
shes making a cheerios necklace using dental floss 'just in case' she gets the munchies later
I was mid hand job and stopped me because he wanted to "connect" which meant putting his thumb in between my eyebrows and a hand over my heart and closing our eyes...
just texted my dealer that i could taste the blue but not the cheese. i said i could taste blue.
So... crashing at the hot bartender's place is not a solid marital decision.
A surplus of mistakes were made and I don't know what 89% of them were.
He played me Kanye.. Speaking my love language.. He got a well deserved BJ
you never keep up with shots anymore
I'm trying to be more responsible these days
you fucking tried to take your pants off and pee in Taco Bell's parking lot
Oh god establish a safe word
I'm going to! Pineapple.
I don't know, all I remember is waking up at 4 in the morning to him going down on me.
Randomize
