At the Phils game. My gay buddy just wanted up to a bunch of Mets fans and said "I'm gay, and even I think Mets fans are a bunch of fags." I love this fuckin town.
i'm having a wet tshirt contest with myself and yet i'm still losing
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
Tonight when I'm getting a bj from a stripper I'm gonna imagine it's you bobbing down there
You know Im horny if Im walking around in my lingerie and sex robe. It's my field of dreams mentality. If I wear it, he will come.
It's like an R Kelly music video in here. Only a matter of time before someone pisses on someone
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
javelin tossed one of my crutches in to the mosh pit at the concert, hit some dude in the temple hahah fuck him he sucks
Well then sir I'll probably see you tomorrow after my class and at 3 with your clothes off. Sounds like a solid way to start the weekend to me
I found my keys in the basement freezer. Drunk me is a sneaky little bastard.
As yoda would say; A bitch, she is.
Just when I thought I was growing up, I go out and TOTALLY REDEEM MYSELF
Well. I mean as excuses for running late go, 'losing track of time in the bathhouse' has gotta be up there on the top ten.
He walked into the bar with a pineapple and they served him AND the pineapple
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
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