If burritos were dicks, we'd have a serious relationship problem on our hands. Just saying.
After New Year's Eve I will be hibernating my life away. Only wake me up for skiing, schnapps, and sex. In that order.
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
No one intentionally makes bad decisions, just errors in judgement. You have your boyfriend I have a restraining order from universal studios. It's all relative
I totally just found ecstasy floating around in the bottom of my purse, it's almost like good karma from the time I lost that blow...but not quite
So I was about the only one NOT pregaming or stoned at my aunt's funeral... Maybe thats why I'm the black sheep.
I need to throw up and die. The order doesn't matter. I feel like shit
I may have just made our entire microwave glow green. Like big green. Like spark and make me shit green.
Like worse than the time I blew up the microwave with the egg green.
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
What am I supposed to say? "Hi new uncle in law once I tried cocaine in Mexico and every once in a while i motorboat strangers. so happy to be a part of your family"
I just had a very enlightening conversation with my hat. we need more of whatever the fuck that was.
When we left, you were on your third beer. When we came back to grab you, you had a pint glass half full of whiskey and had convinced the band to give you a microphone.
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
I need you to teach me how to be roommates with somebody I'm not fucking.
I've decided I will have no shame for the things I don't remember doing.
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