you kept yelling something about watching the muppets chirstmas carol and trying to turn the t.v. on with your car keys
I just drove by a church. On the sign out front was written 'crocodile cock'. On both sides.
it was only during my walk of shame that i realized i was wearing the exact same outfit that julia roberts wears on the dvd cover or pretty woman. prostitution is my destiny.
Just walked past a girl wearing nothing but flip flops and an oversized sweatshirt crying by the front gates eating pizza. i just found your soulmate.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
she walked in on me snorting my prozac. there was no way to convince her i was doing a good thing.
He said hes taking shrooms and watching jurassic park so we're making a t-rex costume
we need ur ladder
You really realize what your life's become when you're sitting alone in the house crying in a santa hat and pjs getting stoned on christmas eve before noon.
Are you kidding me????? How bout, IM SORRY FOR CALLING YOU 16 TIMES AND LEAVING YOU A TWO MINUTE VOICEMAIL OF MYSELF THROWING UP.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He has started theming his dick pics. I have one he sent his duck has a sombrero on. Another a Barbie is riding it.
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
With great boredom comes great irresponsibility.
Please tell me you're not on their roof again..
How did you interpret 'wheat thins' from 'vaginal trauma'?
A reminder in my phone just went off saying, "Fuck.On.Roof- the Great Bambino". This makes me excited and slightly nervous.
I'll bring spiced rum
I am not drinking that devil juice
Randomize