Just shaved my legs with toilet water in a walgreens bathroom. I am so classy.
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
I bought beer tonight and got 3 coupons with my receipt. Paper towels, laundry detergent, and Advil. I wonder if Stop & Shop predicts the future or just does this with every beer purchase.
just threw up nine times in the shower.. solid night last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the bank didn't screw up, i spent 150$ at mcdonalds last night
You just begged me to mute the porn and watch her ass bounce while listening to dubstep the whole time.
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
she pretty much pinned my hand to her boob "on accident" for like 10 seconds before she moved. Waiting the rest of the night was just a formality.
umm, I just masturbated to old Justin timberlake on MTV jams. in need of dick ASAP
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You drunkenly hook up with 5 people in one night and suddenly everyone tries to party with you.
Apparently he walked into the room and started yelling at some huge hairy dude to get out of my room. Except it wasn't my room... Because he was on the fourth floor.
Who knew I could feel anymore shameful at the bar than i usually do...I think my bartender recognizes me from the walk of shame out of his house after i hooked up with his son yesterday
I used my dress as a plate for pizza rolls last night
You have GOT to stop kicking in his kitchen door. Just wait for him to open it next time.
I thought it was your cat but I was wrong your Roomba is possessed by a pissed-off evil spirit.
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