***** fucked a guy with one hand last night
Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
I think my guts just had a chinese fire drill
her bridesmaids come in huge, huger, wtf, and free willy. all their gown are strapless. its like watching the Hindenburg waddle down the isle.
once she started licking the door on the stall, i got out of there and told her bf "this is your problem now" and walked away
If I refrain from fucking my manager, I'm going to reward myself by fucking that guy from the photo department.
At my wifes high school reunion. Found out her nickname was 'Back Door Brooke'. EVERYONE is calling her that.
I'm being responsible and going as a gay, slutty Mormon missionary. It's responsible because I'll have a bike helmet on for when I fall over because I'm too shitfaced to stand upright. It's safer than Count Fagula. I just need to come up with a line equal or greater than "Blaaaa I want to suck your dick"
i dont trust my judgment anymore so im only going to fuck guys who can donate blood at the red cross. they have standards.
As the bouncer was escorting you out, you yelled "keep your filthy dick beaters off me!"
She said you told her you were ready to be a dad. We just got back from our purchase of the morning after pill. That took me 2 hours of convincing. No more fucking my sister.
1. Thanks. 2. No.
Thanks for being my pregnancy scare Sherpa...
In other news, Justin Bieber has a big dick and that makes me uncomfortable.
So vagazzling was a success
Dude I bought tampons with cardboard applicators by accident and now I know my vagina hates the 1960s
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