you kept screaming that dicks were growing out of your back and then you started crying cause they were so far from your vag
could you get any more awkward?
I just jerked it so loud the neighbor banged on their floor. maybe my wife got the point
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.
2nd night home for break and we had to call the fire department to keep the house from burning down. At this rate I'll be lucky to see you next semester.
that's why i use the vibrator in the tanning bed. multitasking. plus then my rooms doesnt know how pathetic of a life i lead.
Do you think you're physically and mentally capable of killing me? Because I'd really appreciate it.
Its 8 in the morning and I wouldn't pass a breathalyzer test, How's your day been?
i just told him to get ready, because I'm going to be taking out my anger over the Super Bowl out on his penis.
lol I'll trade you jello for a tampon
what a trade!
She got up, grabbed me a box of gushers told me to start eating, and immediately gave me the best head I've ever gotten.
Dick very happy bro
Someone keeps hanging up bible verse posters in the bathroom stall I masturbate in at work.
6 hours ago I jacked off a a guy for $100. I explained it away as "compensation" for gas and tolls. WHAT am I doing with my life? Quickest and easiest $100 I ever made though, haha
Did you happen to find the other half of my bra last night?
Randomize
