I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
I've only been here for an hour and I've already made 6 babies cry.
Happy Birthday
Thank God for cruise control and the Starbucks cup I had to puke in.
we all know badassery is carried on the XX chromosome
I saw a 60 yr old mans penis last night. Just for the record.
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
The penis is a tricky weapon to use. When using it as leverage you have to make it seem emotional. I'd rather use it as a club sometimes.
I have too much respect and admiration for my dick to put it into a situation where he could possibly be killed
if drunk means calling me and asking to borrow the game of life at 2am then I think you were drunk
I remember him going "OH SHIT" when he saw you straddling me on the table. And it was like the best feeling ever.
Seriously. All I want right now is a 40 with a nipple on it, and a nap
I used to sleep with a guy on the USA rugby team... He stole my credit card and my Hitman DVD. I'm more upset about the Hitman DVD..
As a rule...I don't sleep with my friends or watch movies with talking dogs
I guess it's part of life. Sometimes your ex boyfriend becomes a drag queen.
dude, you ran into a window then asked ME what the fuck I was doing.
Randomize
