i may or may not be watching the land before time
I just put lube in Matt's bellybutton. He looks unhappy.
Apparently married women at the office don't like getting congratulated on getting "knocked up"
Just got head while drinking hot cocoa and eating cookies. Never in my life have I felt more like santa claus
we hate each other therefore the sex is mindblowing
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
"too many" and "free shots" never belong in the same sentence
Please please please buy brown eye liner on your way home in the morning... I'm missing an eyebrow
Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least
Hey ask him if he likes swappy seconds
I was afraid she wouldn't be able keep up but I woke up in a bathtub, she called me a pussy and made me pancakes.
With great liquor, comes great irresponsibility. Remind me of this night tomorrow.
He was stoned laying on my bed singing I'm a little tea cup while I took a pregnancy test. Thank god it was negative.
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
Randomize
