That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
why did they invent bidet's? your butt gets clean when your poop falls in the toilet and splashes up anyway...
did the hipsters beat you up because you are more ironic than they are?
I will give you a bj if you get me food. NOT A JOKE. FREE BJ.
I never thought I'd hear the words "aww you pulled out" and "you're so sweet" in the same sentence.
you used progresso chicken soup as a mixer last night
u were so high that u chewed on candle wax for an hour
She called all of my friends to find out where I was last night. 7 out of ten said their place.
Also, I think I'm too drunk to be at the gym right now. But how sober do you need to be for IM volleyball?
Oh and my new excuse for not being able to hook up is cholera, feel free to use it
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
Whoever put the picture of my dad in the condom box is an asshole
I think I found my saving grace in the form of a beard at the bar.
... why is there baby oil , black socks and frozen hot dogs in the sink this morning ?
Buying a new pipe this morning, and setting up career plans this afternoon. It's called balance
Randomize
