Hey man sorry I got all grabby
so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
I sent you an email today but due to work restrictions, I had to misspell choke sex
i fell asleep on him beating off on webcam last night, i'm such a great boyfriend.
After I just paid $211 for my hair to be dyed and cut this guy at the bar said "I know you died your hair with koolaid, but I'd still fuck the shit out of you"
i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
Beer is about to convince me to do something really stupid.
how do I tell him nicely and in french that we can't have sex anymore because his huge penis will ruin me for other french men?
I HAVE to find her. I've got a pretty decent pic of her footprint on my headboard. Wonder if I can get one of the podiatry majors to help?
I just peed on a rich man's lawn fuck yeah America
You don't understand. My ass is the color of eggplant.
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
I just saw elmo dancing with gumby. The bars at 7a.m. are AWESOME.
I kept yelling "BY ORDER OF THE PEAKY FUCKING BLINDERS" in a terrible brummie accent at everyone I saw wearing a flatcap.
I don't wanna SLEEP with him, I want to start bar fights with him. There's a difference.
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