i get turned down more than a collar. where are the desperate bitches i need to crawl to them
I printed and framed a picture of a seagull shitting, and hung it in my house. I'm waiting to see how long it takes everyone to notice.
no. you're not making a beach trip out of my abortion.
You are beautiful! I got thrown out of a bar tonight for throwing my shoe. It was at my sister, I don't know why they were mad. I know her.
well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.
You know it was a good weekend when; you leave a bi-lingual letter of apology on top of a stack of cash for hotel housekeeping.
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
Dude she pregamed for her sorority's philanthropy.
So after this weekend I think I'm gonna go down on one knee and propose to my boyfriend that he give me his liver.
Shoot me. Oh my god shoot me. My moms ex "likes assholes"
Just when I thought I was growing up, I go out and TOTALLY REDEEM MYSELF
A huge penis doesn't warm the soul. Or that's what I've had to tell myself.
It's not a funeral, it's a celebration of life. Going commando AND braless is really just honoring him!
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
Randomize
