I kind of wish I was already fat. So I could eat all I want and not worry about getting fat. Cause I'd already be at that point.
yeah so i didn't even realize i was on meth until the next morning
see if i had a dick i'd definitely smack people in the face with it
I got turned off after he said, "i can see us in the future...me, you, and a back yard full of alpacas."
If you take a post shower shit just get back in bed. You're better off starting your whole morning all over again.
Is she okay?
She may want to issue revenge punches, but medically fine.
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
I was a plus one at an intervention for a person I didn't know.
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
I'm never going out with the ashleys again. it was whoreible. terrifyingly whoreible.
i would stab him if he didn't just tell me he is a priest
He lit a shoe on fire and tried putting it out by peeing on it
I woke up to an email from expedia confirming my flight to hong kong
Bro, I live in a constant state of existential dread and moderate ennui. The prospect of cosmic horror doesn’t faze me that much.
Randomize
