I just mixed tequila and nyquil in front of dad. hes making ambulance jokes but let me tell you its DELICIOUSSS
I love watching others lives come down to our level.
There's people holding up abortion signs everywhere. I guess the people of Florida want you to remember you fucked up on Spring Break.
My dream of liquor pitchers came true
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
She just landed. Popped over for a BJ and left. I'm a fan of layover layovers.
I don't want to get into details but it feels like there was a bear mauling involved. A very good bear mauling.
I wasn't that drunk, I know my limits. When peeing became difficult I stopped taking shots.
HOW MANY BOYS NOT ONLY APPROVE OF YOUR PLAN TO BECOME POCAHONTAS, BUT WANT TO MAKE SURE YOU DO IT RIGHT? One, the answer is one, and he is the best and if anyone ever tries to steal him I can assure you they will never be heard from again
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
I am so sorry. Not sure for what, but whatever I did last night probably merits an apology, so I'm covering my bases.
I fucked R2D2 last night. I consider Star Wars day a success.
Drunk in my hotel room, eating taco bell, and crying at Nicki Minaj's life story.
This is why I keep you in my life.
I watched a compilation video today of a guy banging his sex doll to edm music. I just had to tell someone.
I’m going to lick a fucking door knob when this shit is all over
Probably Waffle House
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