wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
There is too much vodka and too much dick.
Apparently it costs $70 to clean vomit off the side of our apartment building.
I ended up with a bullet proof vest and I still don't know his last name.
Im in Ft Meyers right now looking right at an alligator. I have had a couple of beers and people are telling me not to feed him but Im gonna do it anyway.
I can feel his 12 year old sister"s eyes barreling into my soul everytime I'm at there house..some how she knows I'm cheating on her brother or she's mad cause I stole her shirt.
The money is just too good to quit doing it. I'm using the same justification strippers use.
I am so juiced up on period drugs and coffee I feel like my skin is going to fall off.
Might as well permanently tattoo lush somewhere on my body and show it to people when I decide to drink so they won't serve me.
I'm just that drunk tells people I love them or wants to set them on fire. Accept that.
I ate a hotdog off the ground last night.
MY LIFE IS A TRAINWRECK THATS ON FIRE BUT SOMEHOW STILL MOVING, I HAVE THE RIGHT TO SCREAM OUTSIDE AT 2AM
All I want is dick and wine.
Can we get pizza? This is seriously not a booty call. I just really want someone to get pizza with me.
I am at a cat party and I just witnessed people lapping vodka out of a bowl for a contest. Lol
Randomize
