She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
just took my abortion antibiotic with my martini. i no longer wonder how i got into this situation.
once the "do it" chant starts, any shot at an even remotely dignified party experience is dead.
She just cut the six pack plastic up and screamed "save the dolphins"..she also threw away cans of tuna. I like this girl.
They actually said and I quote "it definitely looks like your knees went through some over usage"
Weirdest sensation ever: having your penis fall asleep. It was like tiny hulk hogan was choking it out
My arms are still sore. Apparently, lube wrestling is the best workout ever.
Hope I didn't wake u up but I woke up and there is a shirt, boxers, belt and jeans on my balcony, along with a naked guy who claimed to scale the building
Somehow he made it really romantic
He came on your tits... That doesn't scream romance to me.
Cool. Some 22 year old kids gave me a ride home from the bar last night. In related news, I made out with a 22yr old last night. He was adorable
Omg this is like trying to sleep on a pile of ballsacks.
This country song on the radio just had a rap break. What. No. Why.
COKE WAS NOT ON THE ITINERARY FOR TONIGHT.
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
Randomize
