dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
and do you remember when you were dressing me if i had money in my bra?
There's a stripper banging on the door demanding to see you.
I woke up with a half eaten bag of lettuce in my hand, wearing my Halloween costume from last year. Damn you tequila.
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
I feel like I got run over by a bus full of inebriated Scotsmen on the way to a soccer riot.
I wasn't an ass in college so much more like I showed my ass a lot especially during serious beerpong games. You know I don't fuck around when it comes to sports.
At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you.
Dad's already had 6 Zionist conspiracy rants and moms trying to detect any "dark energies" in my soul. You have 4 days before you return to this shit: ENJOY THEM
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
I feel like it could help stop wars and begin world peace and the continents can unite for one Monday because chicken fries come back today
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
Okay, first we buy a pirate outfit and then we get drunk, you in or you out?
If dispatch calls for us tell them I'm having a significant emotional event in the restroom
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