Awkward is getting caught beating off in the company bathroom...
What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
i want to open my blinds to let the sunlight in my room, but i'm afraid my neighbors will be able to see me drinking and judge me
he started fingering my stomach rolls instead of my vag... am i really that fat?
i had to do the walk of shame dressed as a leprechaun. I have never been more proud of my irish roots.
yeah come on over we're just pre gaming for the grocery store
He googled the address of the bar, then sent me a text saying "6.3 miles. Too far. :( Apparently I am only worth a 5 mile radius.
To the genius that put everclear in my humidifier: your time is coming.
Is it worth it to drive to a zoo with a high possibility of sex at said zoo?
She said our goal is to fuck in every bathroom at the reception which is at a country club. I will have the best wedding date ever! Were 4 for 4 in public.
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
So he drunk messaged me last night telling me he wants a baby. Think I should call his bluff?
I ate an entire popcorn ball before bed. I know that because there is popcorn stuck to my poncho. Also. I'm still drunk. Also. I made out with a 19 year old. Also. #barnparties
I swear to go if the response she sends me something along the lines of who the fuck is Mark Hamill I might need to brake up with her.
Go have a frustration cry and get over it
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