y did u give ur computer a hand job?
Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
All she gave me for breakfast was raw toast. How can she expect me to eat raw toast?
You mean bread?
one of the cashiers from Kroger is eating at my kitchen table and nobody knows why.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
is it sad that I can recall my outfits by who took them off?
I'm sitting on the patient chair, waiting for my vagina to be violated & "i don't want to miss a thing" has been playing on repeat. WHY IS THIS HAPPENING TO ME.
The bartender cut me off so I peed in the corner. How no one noticed I have no idea.
Duuuuuuuude, I need you to sleep with my girlfriend so I can tell you both to move out
No my first time having an orgasm with you will not be on face time
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So when this rash is gone wanna hang out?
I'm gonna guess ur still high cus last night at like 3am my pillows were morphing into cats and I kept trying to pet them
I did coke with the Royal Navy last night. God save the queen.
Did I tell you that I told him I deleted his dick pics and he almost started crying?
So if I run into you on the street, I'm supposed to just stop drop and suck your dick?
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
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