i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
Moms kinda upset I threw up in grandmas bedroom. I think ill stay in tonight.
I just got home. Seriously all I remember is taking out my contacts and putting your balls in my mouth.
They were going around the house breaking things and screaming "Not my house!"
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
Just found out my ex boss was running a whore house in the bar. Time to remove her as a reference?
All my credit cards need to be pressure washed
i could've stared at her spine forever man..she was so deep, and she made a drink out of vodka and organic mangoo shit. i will find her and present that goddess with some fucking gummies
you're no longer allowed out of my sight at parties
Come over. I've made 2 dinners and so many cocktails. I'm a 50's housewife with no family.
Honestly I was sitting in managerial accounting thinking "I really need to get my shit together and stop drinking so much wine." But when you asked I realized... it's wine. It's always a yes.
He wouldn't shut up so I started sending him pictures of animal dicks
I'm not gonna lie. I need sex like plants need water right now. I just need the dick.
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
He ate me out in the warehouse on a pallet of sunlight soap. I fucking love night shift!
Randomize
