Puking blue powerade in mcdonalds parking lot to the applause of the guy taking out the trash with man in the mirror blasting in the background. Good morning stl
he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
We're so high we're finding things in the room to build a submarine with. So far we have two cardboard boxes, a piece of wood, puffy paint, and an empty bottle to use as a periscope.
How do I put "special brownies" into Weight Watchers?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just added 'steal mom's xanax' to my to do list for when I go home for Easter.
My cousin's dog just exhaled smoke. My job here is done.
I made friends with a raccoon. I pet it. Like I was Pocahontas.
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
If he starts "inventing" things cut him off. The last thing he invented was chocolate chip green beans and he destroyed my kitchen
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So my dad just walked in on me with the same girl twice in 3 nights. I told him if he wants to see her tits to adleast admit it. All he did was smirk.
This is how baked we were last night. Our drinking game: We stare at each other; first one to laugh drinks.
i feel like i am made of mashed potatoes. i love cannabis pills so. fucking. much.
don't give me stepladders when i'm stoned.. i woke up to a slice of balogna nailed to the ceiling
my gynecologist gave me a high 5 for not getting any STD's since my last visit and said "Way to go Annabeth!" you have twenty seconds to get to my level
Who in their right mind would frost a cake with their butt?
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