I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
that's an acceptable place to lick
I realized courtney is my jiminy cricket but instead of preventing me from telling lies she prevents me from fucking strangers
lady crackhead wearing pjs and a santa hat brushed the snow off my car at 7am saying "free of charge" the whole time
if it walks like a guido and talks like a guido, i'm gonna fuck it.
it was really awkward meeting your mom for the first time while i was still wearing the condom we were using.
My life now consists of 2 time frames. BV before vibrator and AD after death of my sex life.
If I end up married to you I better get lots of orgasms to help me forget I failed at life.
I'm fighting fire with fire. When my parents interrogate me about what I was doing last night, I tell them the truth. Every disgusting, awkward detail. I'm 23 now and they need to get used to it.
Having boobs is probably the greatest thing in the world, free booze all around
I had to bail out of the tour de Franzia because I have class Saturday morning. Grad school is ruining my life
I've officially dedicated my newly single life to making myself squirt.
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
You just missed an honest to god bukkake
I'm kinda sad I'm leaving the bank. I never got to have rough sex in the vault.
Randomize
