i just borrowed 5 dollars from my eight year old sister. i'm at a new low
By round 4 of the Dead End shots, I thought my jaw was dislocated ... Best invention EVER.
I called for backup and had two guys carry him to the shower. The bigger guy offered to wash his hair.
I'm promoting my liver to CEO of my body cause it clearly works harder than anything else.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We have an unspoken agreement. He helps me move and I give him a blow job. It's really unfair to him considering he doesn't know how much shit I have.
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
I'll just be sleeping in this laundry room. Come get me at bar close.
Drank for free all night and I'm not even sleeping w the bartender. What is this magic?
Two dicks, one me.
Yoga's definitely paying off.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I'm destined to be the stoner version of one of those successful but emotionally unavailable characters Sandra Bullock always plays in movies
he has the ass of a greek god and he made me breakfast
He made me a flamingo drink and now I don't know why things are the way they are.
I'm doing the walk of shame into my therapists office wearing his clothes...I guess go big or go home
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
Btw I puked in your glovebox
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