dude, that chick is coming to see me and stay for 2 nights. I'm hitting the 3rd in the trifecta of friends.
You're one hell of a depraved bastard dude, I'm borderline speechless. You officially win.
They all have matching tattoos so they're all official bffs. I love my life.
That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
turns out Discover card thinks that if you spend $450 at four different liquor stores in one evening that the card "must have been stolen"
can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
Literally getting boned by my flask right now. I didn't really think about this whole sneaking past security in a skin tight dress.
You went around chanting "dinosaur period" and drinking tomato soup from the can.
You were screaming across the bar "BUYING US SHOTS ISN'T GOING TO MAKE US STRAIGHT, YA KNOW!!!!!!!!"
Just put your hair in a bun. We're going out to drink, not to impress people.
He invited me over for shower sex and pizza. Officially the best booty call relationship around.
I'm so hungover it hurts to blink.. oh sweet merciful Christ what have I done
Long story short I'm making an I'm sorry card for a girl I dont remember having sex with
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
I have a 8 minute video of a fish tank on my phone.
We need to stop going to pet stores high.
Randomize
